The seminar was BOMB. Relson is such a character, it was difficult to understand him at times because of his thick Portuguese accent and even more impossible when he segued into full Portuguese and never really made it back to English. But it was great having Rhalan there to translate the instructional part of the class and all the talking story part I could mostly follow along. Overall, it was a really fun experience, Jeff Sensei claims I was all "giddy," in my defense, have you SEEN Relson Gracie's son, Rhalan? He's tall, talented, and handsome! Goodtimes. I totally respect their Jiu Jitsu! The best way I can describe Relson is like one bad ass Portagee uncle- he teaches you some stuff and tells you stories of fighting and/or his son, it was awesome super ohana vibes.
I had a new partner for the seminar and open mat and holy moly I'm super sore today. I woke up alright, I guess a little achy nothing too crazy but as the day progresses I'm feeling more aches- it's almost time for a ibuprofen (preferred) but I think I only have Tylenol. I definitely do not underestimate young(er) people, but I have a bad habit of mentally classifying young people in the same weight class as me, why I do this, I have no idea. My partner is a 16 year old kid who is taller than me but I figured we were about the same weight until after class when he was talking to someone saying he was 140lbs, I was like, really? But I definitely feel the affects, the kid did good. Oh, and I got a super fast round in w/ my favorite rolling buddy who is definitely +140lbs lol and I got caught in a bow and arrow choke, which probably isn't helping the cause, aaiiiiiyah.
So, there are a few more people out there who read my xanga than I would've expected. I thought there might be three people at the most and one more person who occasionally updates but yes, very surprising not like I would change how or what I write about but I guess it's good to have a reality check sometimes. It makes me wonder who else reads this...haha. WHO ARE YOU?!???!?!? LOL, just playing (sort of)
Fluff Another cool thing about being single, crushes galore! Well I mean, I'm not looking to date anyone- not sure when I'll get back on that horse, I'm sure I will eventually...maybe; but it's just fun to go, "ohhhhh so good looking. ohhhhhh so talented" like a little school girl, haha. Currently, two jiu jitsu guys (would be three but I think the guy in question is married and I avoid developing feelings for married people like the mother effing plague, that's not me. I may not want to get married but I believe in the institution of marriage and respect those committed to it.) and I would absolutely date neither of them for different reasons, lol and the reality just made the crush meter wane a little, but that's okay! Hormones are crazy! hahaha.
Music Currently obsessed w/ this song I heard a couple days ago. I think it came out in 2009 but I'm enjoying it in 2011. Shoots!
Introspection I've got an inkling that I might finally be over it but it's been such a tumultuous journey over the years, it's really difficult to be sure; I suppose only time will tell. It's probably the first time in my life my heart doesn't race when you call or text. I no longer feel the need or desperate desire to be a part of your life especially since most times I feel as though I am your personal stepping stone you need to cross another neurotic self-created marsh. The impossible task of impressing you or being the perfect girl does not motivate me to ends unhinged. Maybe, this is what I needed, with our friendship renewed I can feel the things I always wondered if I still felt.
I'm learning, it makes no difference who you are, the things that bothered me about my ex-fiance are no different when you accomplish the same things, and in many ways your actions are magnified. I'm not a fan of drunken escapades and I am definitely not pro drinking and driving; I thought he should have known better- being 5 years my senior, and though youth is no excuse you are always held to a different standard. I grow tired of these antics, I have a crazed desire to live and see through sober eyes, filled with clear thoughts, armed with my wild imagination to create stories inspired by the people I find myself surrounded by and in places where I may find myself.
It's a funny thing, being alone. I want you less and miss my ex-fiance more and more, even though I know we aren't meant to be, he is one of the greatest people I have ever met. I've met no man as selfless as him, it saddens me to know that I had something so great but as much as I miss him I don't regret our break-up. We see the world too differently and I wouldn't change him or myself for the world. It makes me sadder living with the reality that we can't even be friends but I understood that from the beginning, if things ever went awry there would be no salvation for our friendship; and sometimes such is life.
BJJ I'm crazy nervous about the seminar tonight w/ Relson Gracie. I'm such a novice, I hope I can learn and grow from this experience. Learning from a legend, 2nd generation Gracie- the originators, the creators of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I want to do well but I'm pysching myself out right now. I need to count to 10, breathe, and stay focused tonight.
Mick Jagger Ok, so I guess he's a guilty pleasure... I'm pretty sure I think these lyrics are crap but Mick Jagger makes this video awesome.
Reading my past blogs crack me up. I've been hanging with this kid lately, this kid I've known for a while someone who has been in my life since back in the xanga days...and he recently took an interest in my xanga because I had informed him that I still update it, tho my audience has much dimished since the days of old. I freaked out a little when he started hounding me about it because honestly xanga is my life, secrets, concerns, me at my worst & darkest, pure opinion, honesty, moments of raw emotion & irrational feeling, and of course all the superficial fluff & trends too but he couldn't remember my username so cheehoo my xanga lives on!
Xanga > FB
I have a lot of facebook "friends" many of whom I really don't consider friends and some who I regret adding and some who have faded into the background and know even more people who aren't my FB friends but are friends w/ someone who is & I'm waay too lazy to make lists & mess w/ the security settings to allow certain people to see certain things and whatever and what-not so when there is something I REALLY need to scream to the world, I turn to my trusted xanga and let um have it.
My life has virtually no secrets, they are all up for the world to see somewhere, maybe in bits and pieces spread at one point from myspace, to facebook, to xanga and that's how I roll. What you see is what you get, I can't live in secret, not with my own secrets anyway.
I also realize I probably have a false confidence in xanga as it is public and anyone in the world can possibly stumble upon the deepest parts of my soul *insert dramatic music here* (haha)
Ok, this was a lame entry but I would like to update more often, especially since I have so many crazy thoughts flying around, cheehoo.
There are some people who know when to go for it and when to just chill out. I am learning that I am unfortunately not one of those people. My decision making skills are effing impeccable (<--heavy sarcasm). Yay me. Just my luck, of ALL the guests I've ever served at the tea house, the ONLY one I give my number to (almost a year ago) ends up in my bjj class, or I should say I end up in his bjj class while he's on hiatus and then he comes back the first week I am an official student, really?? WTF mate. I stg hapa boys will be the mothereffing end of me (if that crazy kid I've been in love with for the past 10 years doesn't want me back). I make really BAD choices around them. Why kimmie? Why? I hate myself just a little sometimes, you know those times I throw myself under the bus...typical kim move. Aiiiyahhhhhh!
Google, it is pretty much the worst thing ever...it's awesome but SO BAD- especially if you want to find out information about people! It's so incredibly easy to find out information by just typing in someone's (or your own) name. Some of the stuff that comes up is CRAZY. If I google images myself, not only do my facebook profile pictures show up but EVERYONE else's pictures I've left comments on show up too, WTF.
So I've been a little infatuated, with this guy and I found out WAAAAY more than I expected by just typing in his name, so simple anyone can do it. I feel almost bad/wrong for doing it but it really blows my mind how easy it is to look someone up. Technology is scary and the only thing I can ask myself is, how the eff do I remove my name from searches. I mean I'm not even trying super hard to find out information about people/myself but I get an incredible amount of hits.
The only good thing about my name is that it's 1. common if you don't spell it correctly and also 2. super specific if you do spell it correctly that you probably won't spell it correctly. Regardless, I think my only solution is to start going by an alias.
and never really made it back to English. But it was great having Rhalan there to translate the instructional part of the class and all the talking story part I could mostly follow along. Overall, it was a really fun experience, Jeff Sensei claims I was all "giddy," in my defense, have you SEEN Relson Gracie's son, Rhalan? He's tall, talented, and handsome! Goodtimes. I totally respect their Jiu Jitsu! The best way I can describe Relson is like one bad ass Portagee uncle- he teaches you some stuff and tells you stories of fighting and/or his son, it was awesome super ohana vibes.
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